My Loss of Faith (Part II)

NOTE: If you are reading this on Facebook, please go to my blog at www.searchingforchetbaker.com and then you will see the entire post, including the embedded video(s). Facebook for some reason transfers the images and formatting, but not the embedded youtube videos.


My post last week really seemed to speak to a lot of people. I didn't really post it to "get attention" or anything like that, more of a thing I have where if there's something bothering me, I write about it and it helps to sort of let me deal with it, instead of letting it bottle up inside me and wreak havoc.

That's the main reason I started this blog, nearly two years ago (this April 9th), because I would see things online, or in the news that would either interest me, or bother me. And I'm not a very social person so this is my way of venting.

I can just post up whatever my thoughts on various topics are, and maybe a handful of people see it and a fraction of them may enjoy it.

So when I posted what I did, I didn't really think anyone would read it or would comment on it if they did read it. I was apparently wrong.

I got a variety of responses, some on the comments to the facebook post, and a few direct messages to me on my facebook (where my blog is crossposted) and some were very touching and heartening, advising me to "hang in there" and that God would speak to me when He was ready, which admittedly doesn't really help in this situation, but I understand. lol.

Others seemed to celebrate my somehow rejecting Christianity and "finally seeing the light" which is a tad bit ironic if you think about it.

And others, along the same vein, were concerned because they felt I was revoking my faith and disavowing myself of it.

That's not exactly true. So I wanted to post up, this time with the intention of perhaps making myself more clear than I obviously did before.

I'm not declaring myself an athiest, or agnostic, or non-believer, or any of that. I still believe in God. I still believe that Jesus was the son of God, and that he died on the cross for mine and other's sins, and rose several days later.

What I have an issue with, and what I've admittedly had an issue with for awhile, is the fact that I don't necessarily buy into everything I'm told that I need to, in order to be a "real" Christian.

I look at the Bible and there are things in there that I flat out agree with and believe and there are other things in there that I scoff at and roll my eyes at. Things that fly in the face of common sense and reality.

Get the whole "lean not on your own understanding", but as I told a friend of mine yesterday about this, that sounds a whole lot like what a cult leader would say to their followers. "Don't pay attention to what your common sense is telling you, ignore everyone else, and only believe what I say. I know what's best for you. Who are you going to believe, me or your lying eyes?"

That said, as I pointed to in my previous post, there are elements to my faith that I'm told by other supposed "real Christians" that my opposing them somehow makes me a "bad Christian" or a pretend one.

Things such as gay rights, or things of the political nature that seem to intersect with my faith.

They tell me that in order to be a true Christian, you are accepting of the Bible wholesale. You either accept ALL of it, or NONE of it. There's no inbetween, because as well all have learned growing up in Church, God doesn't have an affinity for lukewarm reactions.

However that brings to mind a few troubling things. Christians love to point to Leviticus as the beginning and end of the discussion on homosexuality, quoting Lev. 20:13 which reads (KJV) "If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death. Their blood shall be upon them."

They point to that and say "ahhhhhhhhhh HA! See, they should be put to DEATH! " and that that points out that God obviously detests homosexuality and that somehow that relates to denying homosexuals the right to marry, or have the same rights that I, as a straight white male, have.

And if you don't follow that and adopt that way of thinking, then you can't truly be a Christian, because if you were, you would accept God's word as LAW and abide by it.

Then what about Leviticus 11:10 declares that eating shellfish is an "Abomination", and that Leviticus 25:44 says that we can possess slaves, (male or female) as long as they're from a neighboring nations?

So does that mean we can, by God's decree, run down to Mexico and bring back some slaves?

Furthermore, Exodus 35:2 tells us that if someone works on the Sabbath, they should be put to death.

Yet when you bring these things up to some of these same Christians who declare the Bible 100% God's word and that we must abide by them, suddenly it's "Well, we don't really do that type of thing anymore".

Really? But we do the thing you don't like. Just not the ones you do like, is that it? I mean, it's not like it's separate areas of the Bible. Lev. 18:22 says that Homosexuality is an "abomination" before God, and Lev. 11:10 says that eating shellfish is an "abomination" before God.




So which is it? Do we follow everything or not? Since you refuse to execute those working on the Sabbath, are you not a real Christian?

See these are issues that I have. These are things that I have wrestled with, because of my dealing with people who have proclaimed that they know God's word and that because I don't have the exact same beliefs as they do, that somehow I'm less of a Christian than them.

Another issue I've had is that my faith is one, going by what the word of God says, that while Pat Robertson and the late Jerry Falwell (RIP) , two people who have made a living and millions and millions of dollars dividing Americans and preying on fear and hatred, are going to be in Heaven, and yet Mother Theresa (Catholic) and Ghandi (Hindu) are not, because they are not Christian.

Does that make sense to you? Maybe it does, I dunno. All I know is that I've got a lot of confusion and conflicting emotions dealing with my faith.

Doesn't mean I've abandoned my faith, it doesn't mean I'm rejecting God. Far from it. More to the point that I believe in my faith so strongly, that I actually CARE enough to try to make sense of things, instead of simply throwing up my hands and saying "That's it, forget it".

According to Jesus, the only way to Heaven is through Him. By accepting Him, and His Father, and repenting sincerely for your sins, you will get into Heaven. And that's the ONLY way.

So everyone who is not born/converts to the Christian faith, is just plumb out of luck, it appears. Well, what about those in other countries who have never heard of Jesus? Are they out of luck and destined to spend eternity in the Lake of Fire?



What about those who have been turned off of Christianity by the false prophets like Pat Robertson and the late Oral Roberts? Those who refused to identify with any faith that would be represented by those who thrive on hatred and divisive violent rhetoric?

As I said before, I don't know. I'd like to know though. I'd like to be able to reconcile my strong desire to follow my faith, with aspects that I sincerely and vehemently oppose. I have no doubt that many people I've spoken with are either intentionally misleading me, to further their own beliefs, or they are sincere in what they say, but they are sadly mistaken.

There are many people out there that believe that in order to be a Christian, you have to align yourself with the Conservative/Republican party in politics. And the only thing I can gather is that it's essentially due to the abortion/homosexuality aspects.

However, I would venture to say that neither the Republicans or the Democrats have any place claiming Jesus Christ as representative of their party. Neither are worthy of that and anyone that would say otherwise (for either party) is sadly mistaken. Neither party has a monopoly on Christianity, just like Christianity doesn't have a monopoly on moral and ethical behavior.

I think many people seem to have this notion that the only reason people don't go out and murder and rape and pillage and plunder, is because of their fear of God. And many people, I'm sure fall into that category.

However, there are many people I know who are not believers of any faith, who are moral and ethical and genuinely wonderful people. They don't do that, because it violates their own moral code.

That's another reason why a lot of athiests out there don't like Christians, is because of our seeming sense of superiority both morally and ethically. As if we're somehow greater than they are because we believe in God. I think that's a bit ridiculous, to be honest with you.

Well, that's pretty much what I wanted to say. This has gone on way longer than I expected, but hopefully this will be the end of this topic for me, and I can just sort of find a middle ground between the beliefs I have and those that I don't.




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