Carrie Prejean: The Gift That Keeps On Giving

In the 1989 Christmas film "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation", Clark Griswold (Chevy Chase) was anticipating his yearly Christmas bonus. He had already made a down payment on the swimming pool he was going to put in the back yard, and was anxiously awaiting the bonus to cover the check he wrote.

Well, to his surprise, the "bonus" turned out to be, not money, but a one year membership into the "Jelly of the Month Club", prompting his idiot brother Eddie (Randy Quaid) to utter the memorable phrase, "That's the gift that keeps on giving the whole year through."

That it is, Eddie. That it is.

And so is the gift of Carrie Prejean. The gift that keeps on giving whether we want it to or not. There are people that are bestowed upon us that we don't really deserve. People that are so incredibly bizarre or stupefying, that we don't have any earthly right to be able to bear witness.

And yet we're given them anyway. People such as Sarah Palin, and Rod Blagojevich. These people are spectacularly awesome in how entertaining they are, while simultaneously allowing us to keep the faith that "there but for the grace of God, go I".

Well, we can add another such gift. Carrie Prejean. Oh Carrie, what did we do to deserve someone such as yourself? Did I set up an orphanage in a previous life that helped nurture and raise future inventors of debilitating diseases? Did I save a basket of drowning kittens? I must have done something good in order to be able to see this train wreck known as Carrie Prejean.

I mean, let's just go through the timeline, shall we?

First she burst onto the national scene, when while running for Miss America, Prejean (Miss California) was asked her opinion on the idea of gay marriage, by all around scumbag Perez Hilton.

And she gave us our first gift. The birth of the phrase "opposite marriage". This is her response:



Now I didn't have a problem with what she said there. She gave her honest opinion, and while she was a bit doofy in referring to a man and woman getting married as "opposite marriage" but she was honest with what she felt, and that's cool. I don't have a problem with her speaking her mind.

Many other people did though, and unfortunately that lent to essentially making her a martyr, of sorts, and led to her being put up as this poster girl for Family Values and whatnot. This led to her, predictably, being on all the Fox News shows and being trumpeted as a sign of free speech being hindered.

There's nothing Fox News loves more than attractive blonde women who hate the gays. And she was batting three for three there.

So then came the news that she was being fired from the Miss California people. They accused her of not living up to her responsibilities which included making appearances for the pageant, and she claimed they did so because of her religious beliefs, and that she spoke her mind about gay marriage.

Then it REALLY got good.

Then it came out that the pageant had paid for breast implants which of course made everyone who didn't like Prejean just overcome with joy.

I think Prejean's problem stems from the fact that she put herself out there as this great bastian of morals and Christian family values. And we all know what happens when someone does that. IMMEDIATELY the non-Family Values type things you've done in the past comes flowing out.

Her big problem wasn't that she was anti-gay marriage. That's not the issue, and it was NEVER the issue, no matter what she wants to say, or what those on Fox News want to make it about. It was about her putting herself up on a pedestal and looking down on those who are FOR gay rights.

And sure enough all the dirt started spilling out about her. Turns out she had breast implants that were paid for by the pageant. Is that Christian values? Does that fall under the "defiling God's temple" thing that most people associate with tattoos and body piercings?

No mind. And then when she decided to sue the pageant for infringing on her religious freedoms and other such nonsense, they dropped the bomb. A sex tape that she had made for an ex boyfriend in which she was...ahem....getting in touch with her inner self.

She quickly retracted her lawsuit, and has called the tape a "mistake".



annnnnnnnnnnnd you know it's not over right? Now the boyfriend has come out and said that, while she's saying that she was underage at the time (supposedly 17), he says she was 18+ when she made the video(s). Yes, plural. Supposedly there's 20 videos or so that she sent him, via cellphone or whatever.

You know these are going to show up right? The guy, if history tells us anything, will no doubt be a scumbag who will sell them or release them to hurt her.

Now I don't care if she made these videos. They're stupid to do, and it shows ZERO foresight or logical thinking. That said, so what. It's not the worst thing she could have done.

However the problem is that she has put herself up as this big Christian values type person who was being persecuted because of her faith, and her dislike of gay marriage.

And now people will rightfully point out "were you exhibiting Christian family values when you made these sex videos for your boyfriend-not-husband?"

And then last night she went on Larry King's show and the circus got even crazier when Larry Freaking Kings was considered being too hard on her. What's the world coming to when Larry King is considered a tough interview? lol



I'm sure this will continue to go on and on and on. She's just too good. I mean ... I feel like asking what good things I did in a previous life to deserve this wonderful entertainment.

Oh well. I'll enjoy it while it lasts. I smell a VH1 Reality show soon. Put her and Flavor Flav in a reality show together. That oughta be fun.

Or better yet, her and Perez Hilton. That should be loads of entertainment. Print this post